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There is a lot of misinformation around sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression floating around. During Highlands School Pride Week in June 2024, the Adult Inclusion Alliance took questions through an online form to help build awareness, respect, and understanding so we can create a more inclusive and kind community.

Below are our top FAQ.

What does SOGI mean?

SOGI stands for sexual orientation and gender identity. Since we all have a sexual orientation and gender identity, it includes all of us. Every student understands and expresses their gender differently, and some students may be unsure of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Others may identify specifically as Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, queer, transgender, non-binary, cisgender, or something else. A SOGI-inclusive school means that all of these experiences and identities are embraced, and a student’s identity is never cause for discrimination.

There’s a lot of confusing terminology to keep track of. I don’t want to offend someone by getting it wrong. What’s the difference between gender and sexuality?

Gender is a social set of norms, behaviors, and roles that varies between societies and over time. An example of socially constructed attributes is the color “assignment” given to each gender: girls like pink, and boys like blue.

Gender interacts with, but is different from “sex,” which refers to a person’s biological status and is typically assigned at birth, usually on the basis of external anatomy. Sex is typically categorized as male, female or intersex.

Sexuality is an umbrella term for an individual’s personal and diverse feelings, thoughts and behaviours toward other people. This includes how people express a connection to others biologically, psychologically, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.

Here are additional gender related definitions if you want to learn more: 

Cisgender: A person whose current gender identity corresponds with the sex assigned at birth. 
Gender Expression: How someone expresses their gender, including how they present themselves to the world through the clothing they wear, their hair or the way their speak. It’s all the ways we do and don’t conform to the socially defined behaviours of masculine or feminine. 
Gender Identity: This refers to one’s own internal sense of self as male, female, neither or both. It’s personal and may not align with the sex assigned at birth.
Gender Non-conforming: People who don’t conform to traditional expectations of their gender. 
Transgender: A person whose sex assigned at birth differs from their gender identity. 

Sexuality can also be broken down into more detailed terminology: 

Asexual: A person who is not sexually attracted to other people.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to more than one sex or gender. 
Gay: Can describe someone who is attracted to people of their own gender. Can also mean a man who is emotionally or sexually attracted to other men.
Heterosexual/Straight: A woman who is emotionally or sexually attracted to men or a man who is emotionally or sexually attracted to women.
Lesbian: A woman who is emotionally or sexually attracted to other women. 
Pansexual: A person who can be emotionally or sexually attracted to all different kinds of people, regardless of their biological sex or gender identity. 

Queer: Queer is a reclaimed term that used to be an offensive slur, and not all 2SLGBTQ+ people use it to describe themselves or their community. For many it has become an umbrella term to describe the myriad of ways people reject binary categories of gender and sexual orientation to express who they are. People who identify as queer embrace identities and sexual orientations outside of mainstream heterosexual and gender norms.

What are some interesting, inclusive books that would be good for my child or I to read?

There are so many great resources for finding books that have 2SLGBTQ+ representation and showcase how all different kinds of families are valid and celebrated. Check out the following lists:

EPL Picks Teens: 2SLGBTQ+ Graphic Novels
EPL Picks Kids (8-10yrs): 2SLGBTQ+ Graphic Novels
EPL Picks: Gender Identity + LGBTQ Inclusive Picks
EPL Picks: Identity & Diversity for Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
ELP Picks Kids (K-12): Gender and Identity
EPL Picks (wide age range): Queer Across Age
2SLGBTQ+ Reads: Middle Grades
American Library Association Rainbow Roundtable
WS Diverse 2SLGBTQ+ Inclusive Middle Grade Books

What does SOGI inclusion look like for younger grades?

Inclusive education helps ensure that all identities are reflected in the school environment, and that students can learn about the diversity of human identities that exist. It does not encourage a student to identify in any specific way, rather provides an environment where students can express themselves safely and authentically.

For example, some students are raised by single parents, grandparents, or stepparents, while some do not have a mom, and some have two. An effective K/1 lesson on family diversity will teach students that families come in all shapes and sizes. Another lesson may discourage students from saying derogatory and homophobic phrases like “that’s so gay,” which directly impacts the welcoming atmosphere of schools for all students.

Isn’t Gender and Sexuality just a trend?

The words we use to talk about 2SLGBTQ+ identities may be newer, but these kinds of feelings have always existed. Historically, people would have used different language to talk about these feelings, or expressed them in different ways, but we can still find many examples of 2SLGBTQ+ identities across history.

Aren’t kids only acting this way because their friends are doing it? Won’t talking about 2SLGBTQ+ in schools make kids gay?

Kids may start to express themselves differently within friend groups because those friends make them feel safe, not because those friends have made them gender creative. This goes along with the myth that inclusive parents can make kids 2SLGBTQ+.
Friends and family cannot change a child’s gender or who they are attracted to.
People understand that discussing cisgender and heterosexual topics will not result in making their kids straight or cisgender. It’s the same for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender kids too.

Just as your parents/teachers did not create your gender or orientation, friend, parents, and your child’s school will not be able to change these parts of your child’s identity either.

I have a child who is questioning their gender/sexuality and I don’t understand. Are there any resources I could access to help me?

When someone comes out to you, it means they trust you a lot. Listen to your child. They know themselves well. Research shows that kids typically understand concepts of gender as young as age 3.

Follow your child’s lead and support them wherever they are at. The Family Acceptance Project found that having a supportive family was one of the greatest defences against poor physical and mental health later in life. Having an accepting family is one of the strongest protective factors for young people who are 2SLGBTQ+.

Also know that you don’t have to understand something completely in order to: listening, affirm your love and support, be open-minded, use any pronouns/names they’ve asked you to use, respect their experience, and find resources that can support you and your family.

Some of those resources in Edmonton could include:

PFLAG Edmonton
EGALE
Skipping Stone
Edmonton 2 Spirit Society
FYREFLY Institute
Camp Dragonfly
Trans Equality Society of Alberta
The altView Foundation
Health Across the Gender Spectrum Class

Shouldn’t SOGI inclusion in schools only apply to 2SLGBTQ+ students?

Inclusive education creates a welcoming environment for ALL students. Research shows that harassment on the basis of perceived sexual orientation or gender identity is experienced by both students who identify as 2SLGBTQ+ and students who do not. This is because homophobia and transphobia can be directed at anyone and have a negative effect on school culture, emotional well-being and academic success.

Aren’t there only two genders?

Gender is more like a spectrum or web than the 2 boxes we often describe it as. Some people may fall on either end of the spectrum but others could feel somewhere in between, a little bit of both, or no gender at all.

There are examples of gender diversity across all cultures and histories. For example, in India there is a 3rd gender called Hijra that is recognized by the Government and protected under the law. Here in Canada, many Indigenous cultures recognize up to 6 genders! The English umbrella term for these genders is Two-Spirit but many Indigenous languages also have their own words for this. Here in Alberta, the provincial government legally recognizes a third gender category called non-binary.

Why do we need a group like the AIA when our community is already pretty progressive and welcoming?

Creating a welcoming and inclusive community is an ongoing project. People who are not part of the 2SLGBTQ+ community are not having the first-hand experience that queer community members are having – even in a community that identifies as progressive and inclusive.

2SLGBTQ+ students in Canada are suffering from frequent incidents of verbal, physical, and online violence within their school lives. A national survey across Canada found that 74% of 2SLGBTQ+ students report having been verbally harassed about their gender expression.  21% suffered physical harassment or assault, and 28% were victims of cyber-bullying. Unsurprisingly, 64% of 2SLGBTQ+ students feel unsafe at school, compared to 15.2% of their heterosexual peers. 

The Trevor Project also found that 2SLGBTQ+ youth who felt high social support from their family and school reported attempting suicide at less than half the rate of those who felt low or moderate social support.

The AIA exists for 2SLGBTQ+ families and their allies because positive representation and affirmation matters. 

Seeing themselves authentically represented in the media, helps 2SLGBTQ+ children and young people validate their experiences and it fosters a society in which they feel comfortable being their true selves.

Just one accepting adult can decrease an 2SLGBTQ+ young person’s risk of suicide by up to 40%.

I’m already an ally. What more can I do?

Be open-minded, willing to talk, and do your research.

Talk about 2SLGBTQ+ identities and issues openly and often.

Don’t assume that everyone you know or meet is straight.
Don’t assume that everyone you know or meet is cisgender.

Speak up if you notice things in your school, workspace, home, or family that may cause harm to 2SLGBTQ+ individuals.

Reflect on your own assumptions. Most people have homophobic and transphobic thoughts and feelings. Even 2SLGBTQ+ people themselves! Many of us carry these kinds of thoughts because of the society and culture we grew up in. Don’t beat yourself up over this but do work to uncover and unlearn them.

It can be easy to get angry at people who make homophobic and transphobic jokes but part of being an ally is setting your own emotions aside to make the world better for the 2SLGBTQ+ community. It can be exhausting for community members to educate others on the harm of these jokes, so if you can have these conversations, try to approach them with kindness and compassion. You may be able to help the other person on their journey of learning how to respect 2SLGBTQ+ identities.

Don’t give up. Sometimes you will have to have the same conversation several different ways. Eventually, it makes a difference.

Are there any family friendly pride events I could attend?

Absolutely! Pride is for all ages and there are many family friendly events lined up for this summer. They include but aren’t limited to:

June 21: Camp Dragonfly Family Dance Party
June 21: Dragging Youth June Drag Show
June 21: Riverhawks Love Wins Pride Night
June 22: 3rd Annual Gay AF Market
June 22: Over the Rainbow Storytime with Drag Queen Claudia Hartout!
June 26: Pride Day at Alberta Art Gallery (free admission)
June 27: CHEW Pride BBQ (ice cream from Kind!)
June 27: Love Out Loud Night Market
June 28: 2Spirit Traditional Pow Wow
June 28: St Albert Pride In The Park
June 28: Leduc Pride
July 22-27: Born This Way Summer Camp
July 25: Pride at K-Days
July 25: Queer & Christian Book Tour (Robertson Wesley United Church)
August 22-24: Edmonton Pride Festival
August 23: Edmonton Pride Parade
September 20: Dragging Youth September Drag Show
October 4: All-Bodies Camp Dragonfly Family Swim
November 1: All-Bodies Camp Dragonfly Family Swim
February 7: All-Bodies Camp Dragonfly Family Swim
March 7: All-Bodies Camp Dragonfly Family Swim
April 4: All-Bodies Camp Dragonfly Family Swim
May 2: All-Bodies Camp Dragonfly Family Swim

What actually happened during Pride Week at Highlands?

Students of all ages deserve to have their unique families and identities represented positively. Being able to express what it means to be accepting and respectful at a young age is a great thing. Pride Week is an opportunity to remember that being kind and accepting to all people is important.

This year during Pride Week students wrote messages of kindness and acceptance on the sidewalks around the school, there was optional crafts available to all ages during a lunch hour, members of the AIA read inclusive books to many classrooms and on we celebrated Rainbow Day on Friday, June 6, inviting all students and staff to dress in rainbows or their favourite colour of the rainbow.

Depending on the classroom, students may have explored concepts of family, diversity, inclusion, positivity and self-acceptance through discussions, stories, and art.

If you have any other questions, you can always email us anytime at highlandsaia@gmail.com